Lockdown time appears to be crucial for pacing back to whole life. Every lockdown has given me a leap of some kind. I genuinely think lockdown together with my spinal cord stimulation has armed me like never before in this 14-year journey. There are moments I'm so comfortable. Of course, it's seconds and minutes, but it's soooooo freeeeeeeing. I 'just' walk over to get something – nothing is restricting me. No fog, no warning signal; it's just me moving in the space. So I can totally focus on what's in front of me, I can hear the quiet, notice the dust and envisage all the things I plan to do.. to the end! It's an uninterrupted dreamy sequence! If memory serves me correctly, this is a typical experience and a sequence that should be totally taken for granted instead of awed. I haven't experienced this before lockdown. EVER. CHECKPOINT: 14 years, 4 months and 21 days (or 5257 or 172 months, 21 days), I have experienced a short uninterrupted sequence of normality.
Neurostimulation has been key in my management of pain. It's also satisfied my wish to find a way to be as self-sufficient with my management as I possibly can be. My first stim was a peripheral stimulation unit (leads under the skin) and that was implanted in 2011. I still have this unit as a backup. In 2015 I had a sacral stim implanted but that fizzed (in my opinion) within three years. So in 2019 I had the sacral stim removed and replaced with a spinal cord neurostim. WARNING: In the video, I talk about my experience and have a few Xrays pop up to demonstrate a little detail. If you're the squeamish type you may not want to see the images – they are small, however. Read key blogs about my stim implants experiences and adventures:
- My Peripheral Stimulation implant
- Peripheral Stim messing with my bone density score
- My pain management is turning into a thesis!
- Adventures of a stim controller
- Out With the Sacral, In With the Spinal (part 1)
- Out With the Sacral, In With the Spinal (part 2)
- Out With the Sacral, In With the Spinal (part 3)
- Spinal Cord Stim Trial Day 6
Or my nervous system's fault either. Have you ever let your mind wander beyond the boundaries of chronic pain research? I can't help it, my mind flies around all over the place! Today, it's in Maroni, a village in Larnaca Cyprus. That's where my mum was born. I've been wondering alot about village life lately. And more specifically about my grandmother (Giagia) and her lifestyle in Maroni. I've visited Cyprus four times – each time without pain! I really love mum's village Maroni, it's beautiful. I always make a point of walking around the whole village when I visit so am very familiar with its nostalgic, stony, dry characteristics. I love the feeling of my feet on the ground in Maroni – not sure what that is. Perhaps a memory...
I'm closing the door on the 'reasoning rooms' and I'm not going to investigate what might have caused a sudden flare. 'Soula, let's not go there. Don't enter that routine. Don't walk towards the dead end. Don't waste your time... again!' 'You've wasted years, Soula. Over a decade in fact thinking in rooms that provided no answers. They are mostly empty – blank walls, no windows, no air to breath!'
8am – 12noon tradies here ‘fixing’ heating/cooling unit (making noise, causing disruption and breaking much-needed silence). + Phone calls, all day (important, relating to mum’s future care plan). + Huge tree on [...]
I keep on learning about my sensitivities – it’s mind-boggling! Had someone told me I’d feel the difference between a smooth-surfaced road and a rough-surfaced road while travelling in a car I [...]