Ho Ho Hopefully…
Here's hoping for a pain free 2013. Best wishes everyone. Health, peace and happiness to you all.
Here's hoping for a pain free 2013. Best wishes everyone. Health, peace and happiness to you all.
With Pudendal Neuralgia, or any other pelvic chronic pain issue, it can be impossible to sit pain free (let alone get away without a flare up). Of course, I'm no pro when it comes to seating, but I've learned a lot from my own experience and from listening to the 'ouch' in my pelvis. The seating I needed, was most often hand-made! (Have a look at the one my gorgeous father in law made, it's the stool with adjustable foot rest!) Although I've worn out, thrown out, tried and tested so many more seating aids, I'm showing the ones that have lasted or worked for a while. These are the ones I often resort to.
...please gear up with me, imagine the drum rolls and the biggest mountain you can imagine with me standing on the tippy top yelling because this IS real, IT'S true, IT'S official: I'M BACK AT WORK!!!!!!!" No, I've not overdosed on my medication and the stress of a chronic pain issue has not damaged me enough to be hallucinating.., I. AM (wiggling heaps but all the same). SITTING. IN. A (very nice ergonomic). CHAIR. TYPING. THIS. POST!!!!
...So with my returned senses came dreams, with senses and dreams came diagnosis, with diagnosis came, finally, appropriate treatment, and with the right treatment came great pain relief and some much deserved and needed increased capacity. I feel I've arrived on a very high mountain but had to crawl all the way up over 5 1/2 years. So, here we are on the mountain, I mean, in Italy, and boy did we pick the right place! Not only did we have a divine holiday but we stumbled on what feels like a miracle treatment for my form of PN and that was part of the Italian lifestyle: bidets and siestas...
What’s also revealed here is the origin of our Jack Russell’s name, Zephyr (who is actually more like a hurricane), but… back to my life moment, back to one of the big, completed circles of my life… I was moved completely. So moved I couldn’t move, stuck to the floorboards with only one way to go, closer, if only everyone else would get out of MY way!! I almost felt I had a special right after loving the piece for most of my life, painting her, drawing her over and over. I almost couldn’t understand why no one could see these facts, and why didn’t they all also know I was the one with the tattoo of Venus on my tail? I contained myself, I was in danger of setting off the alarm and for the life of me wasn’t about to live down to Theo’s expectations...
So, you think you can see pain hey? Or rather your understanding is, if you don't see it then it's not there? Please read on because people like you drive me a little batty... "Pain is invisible!!!"... ...I know, I know, it's shocking and many won't believe it, ever, but it's true... Seen me smiling? It hurts. Seen me having coffee with a friend? It hurts. Seen me walking up the street? It hurts. Seen me having a glass of wine? It hurts. Seen my online social activity? It hurts doing that. Heard I went away for the weekend? It hurts... more. Did I email you? It hurt...
I have nothing nice to say about a flare up. It's nothing but my injury's hissy fit and a brutal check point that tells me I'm not my old self yet. But since I like to keep a positive outlook and focus on the good things, I will say that coming out of a flare up feels incredible. I feel I could fly, my brain gears up again...
Absolutely nothing great about having to live by these rules but it certainly saves me alot of extra pain, I have more up time and, above all, I decided this is just temporary. I'll do what it takes to get by most comfortably (if I can dare to use such a word for a chronic pain site!): •I understand that everything I do counts, even a sneeze (ok they count alot!) so I make sure I pick and choose what I do •I learned and practice the word pace •I'm more selfish •I say "I can't" and recently I've even stopped apologising because "I can't"! •I let go of obligation (actually I need to work on that one) •Keep any visit short, close, soft (not too many parties unless you can walk away) •I email my WorkSafe case manager to eliminate hearing all unnecessary hogwash •I have a daybed and made a 'dayspace' no where near a television or my bedroom •I have a dog, he's one of my biggest aids
There isn't one single reason I can give for 'coping', I think a few things play a role. The biggest of all, I believe is my own brain's chemistry and built in ability, something I don't believe I have control over and was born with (and how greatful I am for this ultimate survival gift!), but coming in second, or even on par, is my husbandly support, Theo. I don't know what I would have done if Theo hadn't understood my pain and my eratic injury and hadn't supported me 200%. Seriously there were days I thought I was crazy...