Flare up

Flare Up Process

Talk about getting the life sucked out of me! And the long-awaited, grand finale, official last symptom of my flare up is waking up and feeling I’ve had a bulldozer go over me… a few times… at least! My muscles ache all over, I could almost fool myself and pretend I’ve run a marathon, but in reality I’ve been in the dark cave of pain for days, sleeping and resting… and sleeping and resting. Oh yes but getting up long enough to cancel any commitments, or in the final day, getting up and attempting a coffee outing, only to realise that nope, flare up wants a bit more of your life.

I have nothing nice to say about a flare up. It’s nothing but my injury’s hissy fit and a brutal check point that tells me I’m not my old self yet. But since I like to keep a positive outlook and focus on the good things, I will say that coming out of a flare up feels incredible. I feel I could fly, my brain gears up again: ‘Of course I’m going to beat this’, ‘yes, I’ll be me again one day’, ‘I’ll get back to work for sure’, ‘I’m going to start a painting tomorrow’, ‘I’m going to sit on a hard bench tomorrow’, ‘movies – bring ’em on!’ and, ‘darling, let me drive today’...

By |2017-12-15T15:55:55+11:00March 21st, 2012|About, Living, The pain|9 Comments


  1. Marika Silwedel November 13, 2013 at 10:47 am - Reply

    I love your positive attitude. I try to do the same thing. I’m having a shocking day today. But I will try to stay strong and positive and know that the pain will eventually fade. Hard not going into work and cancelling appointments however it’s what we need to do isn’t it?

    • Soula Mantalvanos November 13, 2013 at 11:53 am - Reply

      Definitely have to stay strong but also accept there will be the slow days, days when we have to just rest, stop completely. Thanks for the comment Marika and for the email!

  2. Karen Napoli October 25, 2013 at 12:52 pm - Reply

    Strangely comforting to read. Relating on this level seems so sister-like. Thank you!

    • Soula Mantalvanos October 25, 2013 at 3:19 pm - Reply

      It’s that ‘hits the spot’ feeling… as much as we hate the truth. Thanks for stopping by Karen.

  3. Mark S.B. September 8, 2013 at 9:30 am - Reply

    When I have a good day I’m so happy , THEN a flare up will come upon me around the end of the day and it feels like an assault on my good day only to make it end bad. I don’t have anything good to say about flare ups, they come out of the blue making things dark . I try peeling back the layers only to find out the banana is so ripe it taste rotten. So I go to sleep and pray the morning brings a better day.

  4. GailZahtz August 5, 2013 at 4:25 pm - Reply

    What a wonderful post! I too have been in the middle of a flare, for whatever my genetic illness is- so hard to describe to people: the best I have is that it’s like wearing a 50 pound wet suit and then trying to get around normally while everything hurts from the inside out. And of course, they never come at a convenient time- right as I’m launching two sites, a full talk show, and owe two clients big projects. I just am so very grateful that I have work and skills that enable me to hide the rest while I get on with the work. Thank you for your inspiration!

    • Soula Mantalvanos August 5, 2013 at 4:58 pm - Reply

      Thank you for comment Gail. I’m so sad to hear about your pain and hope the butterfly stage is upon you ASAP! Damn pain, so inconvenient….

  5. Renae June 12, 2012 at 3:11 pm - Reply

    Really like your website…. Am lying in bed hugging my hot water bottle in a flare from my first internal physio appointment… Thinking maybe I won’t go there again and feeling confused about this whole horrible illness, wishing there could be a cure for us:( it helps to know there are women and men out there going thru the same and that I’m not alone x

    • soula June 13, 2012 at 11:13 am - Reply

      Renae I’m so glad you found some comfort reading through my experience. No, not many people understand. You reminded me of a time I had an internal it went something like this, “does this hurt? How about here… And now?” of course I would answer “no” because it didn’t hurt until I got in the car and the fire would begin. By the time my husband got me home I was in agony (minutes away).
      Our issue requires the opposite examination from my experience with my pelvic specialist. Her internal exam went like this, “has it stopped now? What about here? Is the spasm going? Let’s wait… How do you feel now?” I’m happy to say “yes, the spasm would stop, yes the sensation would calm, yes it’s quiet now” and I now have those pressure techniques and tips to help me daily. It was an incredible moment when she placed her finger on one spot and felt the spasm herself. I cried. Someone understood and felt my pain.
      Have you tried cold running water over the area? I hope the flare stops soon and you get to the butterfly stage.

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