Permission granted and now it's back to reality! Or is it possible I never really left my reality? As if anyone can leave chronic pain behind and really have time off! I'm going to post my brain's two conflicting versions: 1. Crap thinking out-of-the-way first version..
Or should I say, looking forward to 2015? Looking forward is more my tune but the changeover of another year, especially with chronic pain, calls me to reflect and to ponder my [...]
Very chuffed to be selected as a semi finalist regardless of the outcome. The portrait was flown up to Sydney for a second round of judging. She didn't make the final cut of 30 finalists but I feel so content that Ms Soula is going to great lengths to create awareness for invisible pain.
Last week, I attended my last acupuncture appointment and for the first time in over seven years, am therapist free. Hang on, I have to just repeat that: I am therapist free Did I ever think this day would come? Of course I did and I believe that's why I am here. I have had my moments, but what I didn't realise through all that heat and whilst pacing like a snail, was that each flare up and pain episode was actually not an indication that pain was here to stay, but rather that it was actually beginning to leave. Although just a difference of minutes initially, eventually I felt the flare ups spreading further apart. And with recognising that change and NOT increasing my capacity past a snail's shell weight, I began to make progress.
Collage has been a little more therapeutic for me than my usual art forms. I think it must have been finding a technique that I could manage and one that didn't add to the fatigue and pain. Cutting small pieces of paper and glueing, drawing, attaching was just so light and easy. The painting of small pieces of paper and the careful ripping and tearing was like rocking. So gentle, so calming and at the same time feeling like I was handling my pain, expressing it and getting it out of my body and onto the art piece.
Hallelujah! Pardon my pun here, especially as I'm preaching sexuality on a Sunday morning but finally, here is some thorough research and attention for the clitoris. Thank you Louise Smith for sending this link to me.. I think it's essential info for everyone, not just women with PN. Thank you melodiousmsm for writing this and thank you to artist and sex educator, Betty Dodson for the fabulous artwork.
(http://americannewsreport.com/nationalpainreport/my-story-a-pain-in-the-coccyx-8823596.html) The National Pain Report, my story. April 14th, 2014 by Soula Mantalvanos I begged my neurosurgeon to do anything, even to chop my coccyx off. But after getting opinions from other surgeons, he suggested not to go the invasive path as we had the option for an implant called a peripheral stimulator, a treatment that was reversible. It made more sense.
I begged Professor Teddy to do anything, even to chop my coccyx off but he (and his backed up opinions) suggested not to go the invasive path just yet (removal of the coccyx had also not been very successful in treating chronic pain), we had an option for an implant, a treatment that was reversible, it made more sense. To 'qualify' for a stim you have to go through a trial first. The trial period was two weeks and in that time I had half of two leads placed inside my body (yes this is a full anesthetic/operation), with the remaining half of the leads hanging outside my body connecting to a temporary unit. It's a risky period, one very highly susceptible to infection but it allowed me to test the device and its impact before we implanted the $60k (or so) unit. Am I grateful I had private insurance? You bet! My WorkCover insurer certainly wasn't going to pay, eventually dismissing the surgeons reports as not having providing enough information.
In Art and Chronic Pain – A Self Portrait, artist Soula Mantalvanos shares her experience with chronic pain, which has been a debilitating presence in her life for almost seven years. Soula suffers from Pudendal Neuralgia, a painful nerve condition that developed following an accident where a fit ball that she was sitting on burst, causing her to drop violently to the concrete floor beneath. Early on in the book Soula describes that split-second, and the devastating effects that followed. A highly active yoga-loving woman before the accident, throughout the book Soula gives a deeply personal account of the psychological, emotional and physical impacts of living with chronic pain for so many years. These negative effects were compounded by the fact that her condition Pudendal Neuralgia baffled her doctors, and took four and a half years to even diagnose.
When I hear 'festive cheer' I can't help but rhyme it with 'Festive fear', are you terrified at this time of year? Festivities call us to get out of the safe daily zone, step into marathon entertaining, baking, wrapping, socialising, a time to move away from our therapists and their treatments (Lord knows they need a break!) and jump! It's impossible not to wonder, how will this end for my pelvis?
