I’ve been waiting a while before writing about the current state of the world and its effect on me, my life and the chronic pain. I’ve been feeling quite confident with a [...]
That was my endnote for 2019. As life evolves within my 3km radius, I find myself looking back less and less and looking forward more and more. Bitter, defines the heartache of not being able to see loved ones as often and the missing perks of our previous city life. Sweet, is being defined by new friends, the gallery, our new home and the sea that surrounds us. As for confused, another year has passed and I still don't feel anyone can quite define what's going on with my body. Does it matter heading into a new year?
I have arrived! I have lived half a century. I somehow made it through the horrid decade of my 40’s. I made it through the dark forest of chronic pain. Goodness people [...]
Being resourceful is what makes the difference — it is so hard working life out. But Theo and do it. We burrow down and we make it happen. There's no choice... or rather there was but I didn't want a fulltime WorkSafe paycheck. Of course, I think about that. And of course, I often call myself stupid for declining it – I was safe! I had that full-time paycheck for the rest of my life. But creativity and sharing the day with Theo is so precious to both of us. Even with the complexities and risks, it appears to be the only way Theo and I can live. For this, I am grateful! So I'll stop complaining now and go on with what I've been doing and what I am achieving. It's all good! I'm moving. Life is in forward motion after being so still for so long – a decade at least!
It's an act of forwards and backwards, sideways and a lot of down ways. It's really hard work. The less it yells, the better I feel and only then can I do more and pace up. The more I poke it, the worse it gets. The worse it gets, the deeper into the hole I go and further away from coming back out! I don't just pay with pain, I pay with time – lifetime!
There was no rushing to catch transport! And the sounds of Venice are soothing and happy. In the morning we woke to the sounds of the local's footsteps and the sounds of them working along the canal. Local chatter in the street, dogs barking and of course, the church bells. Sounds impact a person with a chronic illness. My mind was at peace, it felt rested, all was calming and gentle.
But I'm sure it'll all pan out ok. So much for looking after myself and preparing for potential weight gain as I approach my half decade milestone. The weight I've lost has potentially caused a shift in the position of my implants.
Theo and I continue to establish our new life in Queenscliff and are enjoying the many wonderful new aspects of our new lifestyle. We're also learning to manage the sacrifices. It makes me feel I've turned a corner. Home Then Actually, a couple of weeks ago, I literally did turn a corner. After staying in Melbourne for a special family lunch, during the evening we also managed to catch up with old friends on our old pavement. I kind of felt a little emotional pang when I turned into the city end of Gertrude Street and saw the magnolias enjoying the Autumn evening light and the little drizzle that was beginning. Very steadily pacing my drinks, the night saw us hop around our old favorite spots. The life turn happened when I stepped out of the Everleigh and instead of turning right to head 'home', Theo and I turned left to head to a city hotel. We were going to sleep at this hotel, wake up in the morning and return to Queenscliff. Theo had to work... Sunday. I don't often have overwhelming emotional moments. I really deal with life's activities quite well. I mean, who would I think I was expecting a perfect life run, right? 'Suck it up!' But this was one of those overwhelming emotional moments and it was damn hard. I knew what it was. I knew that overdue moment since we left 'home' had finally caught up with me. I fully comprehended that we had said goodbye, and life had moved us on. I lapped up every step away from my previous home as the rain fell on/off and the concrete took in all the glittery, yellow, autumn Melbourne evening lights. I bid abiento to each magnolia as I walked up the street. I also lapped up the arms that were around me and the huge hug that Theo and I stopped to have to mark our moment. Home Now
True! Theo and I made a huge life move as many of you have read. Our transition began over a year ago when we escaped to Tasmania [...]
