I’m going to change things a little on the site.
There’s been a build-up of pressure relating to advocacy in the past year. I gave it up and then COVID-19 dragged me back to it again.
The pressure of questioning thoughts; what do I write, what will help other people living with pain, what will be useful information, etc. was putting the pressure on!
This is not how I usually rattle off in my journal. In my journal, I begin to write and the thoughts just flow. The process and results are often so much nicer!
My french Astier de Villatte pencil is mechanical – it never needs a sharpen and it runs on refills.
When I start to write I feel that the time the activity takes allows for great clarity. I often discover what I’m really trying to say when I’m writing. When I’m thinking, everything is going too fast and most often I’m interrupted (by pain or fatigue puts an end to the process) and so I don’t get to unravel the full thought.
I will, of course edit, but the new direction is an aim to present more personal posts. The casual and familiar approach may also take the pressure off me and provide you with more insight, more day to day detail – I can’t guarantee this will be useful!
I won’t, of course, write daily. I don’t approach my journal in that way – sometimes it is daily but then there are times I don’t go back to it for weeks.
Disclaimer: these will be my thoughts in response to my 13-year chronic pain experience which will be different from yours. Entries may be boring, at other times funny, and most certainly, the rhythm will be going off-road due to the more spontaneous style of documentation.
We’re not strangers… I think you’re ready for this.
As an artist, predominately this is all about the process of creative communication. As someone living with chronic pain, it’s about pain management. It is all creative expression. It’s open and honest and without regret.
There will (most likely) be no masterpieces as this is the boring story of chronic pain. But there will be many doodles, scribbles and paintings.
Here we go then…
(Image: Self-portrait April 2019 graphite in my journal)